I get leery when others are close to my personal space; which to me means if I can hear you breathing or smell your breath and or body odor (be-it your perfume or sweat) it makes me hyperventilate. I get irritable and start spazzing by indignantly telling them that we aren’t married and didn’t realize we were on a honeymoon.
I’ve always felt a sense of claustrophobia when others are next to me. I’m not sure if it’s because of being sexually assaulted when I was younger, but I don’t like others that I didn’t invite in my personal space. Ever since my recent accident, I get into such a frenzy when I am crossing the street; since I am now a living bobblehead while crossing the street on the lookout for anyone else who seems to forget their obligation to driving instead of texting and driving.
I curse out the drivers that turn while failing to use their turn signal lights.
Use your fucking turn signal lights. IT’S FREE! AS MUCH AS YOU PAID, IT COMES WITH THE FUCKING CAR!!!
I begin to get sweaty and shaky and find myself breathing rapidly. At times, I swear I can still feel the impact of being hit by this asshole’s SUV. I then find myself ridiculing myself because I get so anxious. Yet, it’s bad enough I already live with other issues of mental illness without this new added one.
I have recently started taking Cymbalta to aid in my coping with my depression and anxiety. It’s only been two weeks, but it may actually be working some. I don’t find myself to be so edgy, I think.
When others on right on my back, I still get panicky because my back does hurt every day. It’s just some days are worse than others and when people are really close to my back the least little bump is enough to send me to the ER after I hear,
Your fucking sorry doesn’t help my back from being fucked up. I am trying to not be rude when I ask someone to back up and give me a few inches of my own personal space. It’s a process and I have to realize that not everyone knows or understands my plight for my own safety and peace of mind.